matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
