her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
