We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
