I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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