I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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