Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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