walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
