I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
