Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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