Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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