You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
