Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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