wakey wakey hands off snakey
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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