I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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