i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
