i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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