I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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