called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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