Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize