shes about as inviting as chlamydia
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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