scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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