Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
