Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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