There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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