obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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