I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
