so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
