her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
