You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
