is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
