can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
