I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
BRING THE BAGELS
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
