She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
