he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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