We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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