Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
