so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Bring me that man meat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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