Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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