so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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