I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
