He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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