I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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