The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
