Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.