dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
As shirtless as possible
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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