You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
