I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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