You're so nebulous sometimes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
