her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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