fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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