What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
