so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
