Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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