Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
