Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize