well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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