You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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