im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
