Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
