I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
