Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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