the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
